In short, it sucks.

I sob every day at work.

Seriously, I sob.

I sobbed at the first notice of positive patient cases.

I sobbed when I watched a newly positive patient leave by stretcher for our sister facility. The fear and confusion on her face was enough to lead me into a near panic attack. I only wish I was exaggerating.

I sobbed at the notice of our first COVID death, and every death there after. It’s up to 6 today.

But, for the first time this week. There were happy tears.

I got to finally cry tears of joy as a walked down the hallway and saw two previously positive residents had moved off our COVID unit and back to the ‘healthy’ side.

But the pain is far from over.

My fears from March are coming true and it breaks my heart.

I’ve had this fear since March, when everything was so scary, so new, so many questions, with so many new cases.

My fear was some unknown point in the future, I’d walk the hallways, glance left and right, and see the empty beds of the residents we’ve lost.

This is now the reality.

There are now 6 empty beds.

Beds that wouldn’t be empty if not for this virus.

We’re lucky to have made it this long.

Until tomorrow, Meryn

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